My first STD was from a foam party
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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