you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
