I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
