guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
