ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
