If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
