My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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