Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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