Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
