You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
