also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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