I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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