if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
