Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I want a musical about memes.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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