I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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