Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
