I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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