My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think I am morally bankrupt
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
