apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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