areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
