This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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