So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
