I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Every concussion has its silver lining
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
