I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
