I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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