he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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