For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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