She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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