i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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