worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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