I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
