I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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