Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
