the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
