hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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