I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize