he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
