Already got asked if we're dating
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
