what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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