Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
