Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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