Umm I'm too high to move.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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