4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
