careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
