Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
