She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
