How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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