So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
3pm strippers are depressing
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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