I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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