You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
